LGBTQ+ Parents

Overview

When it comes to starting a family, LGBTQ+ individuals and solo parents by choice have significantly more complex challenges to overcome than those in heterosexual relationships. For many, becoming a parent requires considerable time, money, and effort, and is dependent on the help of a donor and/or surrogate in addition to a medical team. Then there are the legal barriers, socio-cultural norms, and discriminatory practices to navigate, all of which can make having a child an emotionally trying, expensive, and frustrating affair.  

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Some of the options available to LGBTQ+ individuals who want to have a family include:  

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• Fostering or adoption – though this is by no means an easier or completely equal option to assisted reproductive technology, and there are barriers present as well  

• Donor sperm insemination at home – an option for those who do not wish to go through official channels, though this comes with more risk, legally and medically 

• Donor sperm IUI or IVF at a clinic – this option offers the most legal and medical protection for female same-sex or lesbian couples and for solo mothers by choice 

• Reciprocal IVF / Shared Motherhood / Shared Parenthood – an option for those in female same-sex or non-binary relationships who wish to use the eggs of one partner to create an embryo that is implanted into the uterus of the other partner, who will then carry the pregnancy 

• Co-parenting – an option for those who wish to enter into a co-parenting arrangement with someone they are not in a relationship with 

• Surrogacy – an option for those who are unable to carry a pregnancy for biological, health, or social reasons 

 

Read more information here, and in our Factsheet for Recipient Parents.  

 

Funding and access 

As is the case in much of the UK when it comes to assisted reproduction, funding and access is not equitable across all areas or for all people. This article outlines IVF provision for LGBTQ+ people in Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland, while the criteria for NHS England is discussed here. More information can also be found on our General Info Factsheet and Legal Factsheet. 

 

Ethics 

Because having a biological child for an LGBTQ+ person or couple usually involves the use of a donor and/or surrogate, the ethical issues surrounding reproductive labour and equality can become more pronounced. As the quest for the removal of barriers facing marginalised groups advances, reducing discriminatory practices and allowing more people than ever to become parents when they might previously have been unable to, it is important that these issues are highlighted and that successes are celebrated.

 

However, it is vital that the additional challenges that may arise in the use of donor conception and surrogacy are addressed and discussed openly too. The rights, feelings, and well-being of donors, surrogates, and donor conceived people must also be prioritised in assisted conception practices, so that harm is minimised. Learn more about the ethical considerations around donor conception and surrogacy here.  

 

Reproductive counselling  

Anyone undergoing assisted conception with reproductive technology should receive thorough counselling to discuss the intensely personal and complex issues that may arise before, during, and after the process. Some of the chief considerations and topics of discussion during this counselling, particularly for LGBTQ+ individuals, include:  

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• Medical options and considerations – Learn about the options available dependent on age, gender, health and fertility status, and whether a donor or surrogate will be involved 

• Knowledge of legal status – Learn about your rights regarding access to treatment and parental recognition, as well as laws on donor conception and surrogacy in the locations where reproductive services will be obtained or accessed 

• Socio-cultural challenges – Discuss feelings and responses to some of the barriers and socio-cultural challenges that LGBTQ+ parents may face 

• Emotional challenges – Address concerns that may arise around biological connectedness, disclosure to donor conceived children, societal biases, and concerns about third-party involvement in family building 

 

To learn more about the emotional impact of becoming a parent via assisted conception, click here.  

 

Further reading and resources:  

 

Information for trans and non-binary people seeking fertility treatment | HFEA 

 

LGBT Mummies 

 

LGBTQ+ Paths To Parenthub - Paths to Parenthub 

 

New Family Social - Home 

 

The ethics of fertility treatment for same-sex male couples: Considerations for a modern fertility clinic - ScienceDirect 

 

Queering reproductive access: reproductive justice in assisted reproductive technologies | Reproductive Health | Full Text (biomedcentral.com) 

 

Families formed through assisted reproductive technology: Causes, experiences, and consequences in an international context - PMC (nih.gov) 

 

Societal pressures and procreative preferences for gay fathers successfully pursuing parenthood through IVF and gestational carriers - PMC (nih.gov) 

 

Same-sex mothers’ experiences of equal treatment, parenting stress and disclosure to offspring: a population-based study of parenthood following identity-release sperm donation - PMC (nih.gov)