Rights of Donor Conceived People

The rights of Donor Conceived People (DCP) are all too often an afterthought when it comes to assisted conception. As articulated here by Laura Bridgens of Donor Conceived UK, there is sometimes excessive and undue pressure on DCP to place the feelings of their parents above their own, by emphasising how much they were wanted and are loved. Using language that diminishes or dismisses DCP's feelings and frames their existence as a 'gift' that was provided by a donor to the recipient parents can be unhelpful and dehumanising, contributing to emotional suppression and a sense of isolation. 

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Even today, some people are not told they are donor conceived or are told only when they become adults or upon finding out the information themselves, which can cause tremendous trauma and the questioning of one's identity. It is now recognised that completely anonymous donation and non-disclosure are both harmful practices, with many countries moving towards models of open identity and with parents heavily encouraged to be honest with their children about their origins from an early age (no later than 3-5 years old). Some advocates for DCP rights believe that gatekeeping  within the fertility industry has contributed to this culture of secrecy and separation because it benefits them for familial connections and emotions to be removed from what might be, from their point of view, a purely scientific and medical process - one which makes them an enormous amount of money.  

With the increasing popularity of at-home consumer DNA tests, more and more DCP are connecting with genetic relatives they previously never knew existed or had any way of finding. Even in countries where the donor's identity can be revealed when a child is 16-18 years old, some DCP want to connect with biological relatives before then, in order to establish relationships in childhood. Often, it is other half-siblings that DCP are most keen to connect with, as they are usually more easily found than the donor / genetic parent themselves. Recent documentaries like My Sperm Donor and Me and Born From The Same Stranger demonstrate the growing interest of DCP in discovering more about their roots, which is a common human desire.

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As reproductive technology advances and more people than ever have the means to become parents when they might not have previously, it is vital that those at the heart of this process - the donor conceived children and people - are centred and prioritised. We can celebrate and facilitate people becoming parents without compromising the rights and well-being of others. 

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Writing in Psychology Today, Wendy Kramer, author of Donor Family Matters and founder of the Donor Sibling Registry, outlines a Donor Conceived People's Bill of Rights. An excerpt from her article appears below. 

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Donor-Conceived People's Bill of Rights

Here are some basic tenets concerning donor-conceived people's fundamental rights and aspirations, based on their input. It calls for respect, transparency, and the information needed to build a complete sense of identity/self.

 

Knowing Ourselves

• Right to Identity: We have the fundamental right to know from birth that we are donor-conceived and to access our full identities, including information about our immediate biological families. We have the right to know about our ancestry. Many of us can't fully understand who we are until we know who and where we come from.

• Accurate Birth Certificates: Our birth certificates should accurately reflect our origins, listing legal and biological parents.

• Open Records: We have the right to possess all documents related to our origin story.

• Comprehensive Information: We hold the right to know our full ancestry, ethnic background, religious heritage, and legal and social details and information.

• Medical/Psychological Information: It is important to have a family medical and psychological history as well as updated information

• Completeness and Belonging: Understanding our origins is crucial for building a complete sense of self.

 

Connecting with Our Roots

• Donors/Biological Parents: It is not in our best interests to be kept from our biological parents for the first 18 years of life.

• Knowing and Meeting Donor Relatives: We have the right to be curious about, to search for, and to grow up knowing our biological parents and half-siblings, like other citizens.

• Half-siblings: We have the right to know how many half-siblings we have and to be part of a responsible number (not the commonly found 50, 100, or 200+). We should have the opportunity to grow up knowing them.

• Relationship Recognition: The relationships we build with our biological families deserve respect and dignity, like any other familial bond.

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Embracing Our Family

• Guilt-Free Relationships: We have the right to navigate our relationships with all our donor siblings and biological parents without guilt.

• Defining Family: We have the right to define and cherish all familial bonds, integrating legal and biological parents and siblings into our concept of family.

 

Building a Brighter Future

• Advocacy: We're empowered to advocate for our collective dignity. Sharing our stories with families, the public, and the reproductive medicine industry is crucial for achieving transparency and ensuring the ethical treatment of future generations.

 

The Empty Seat

These rights are about being heard, acknowledged, and respected within an infertility industry that still hasn't included DCP in its policy discussions. Since the beginnings of donor conception early in the last century, policies have been set to include the rights of the facilities to sell the gametes, the rights of parents to buy those gametes to build their families, and the rights of donors to sell their gametes and to remain anonymous. But this isn't an equitable situation as the rights of the donor-conceived people are hardly considered. Matters of identity, transparency, and connection need to be addressed. Donor-conceived people should not only be seated at the policy table but also have their voices listened to first and foremost, as they have the lives most impacted.